Up and Down, Up and Down...

I'm not sure how to start this off at all....I've been really really really bad...

The best way of putting it is that, I just stopped caring for a few weeks. I stopped caring about the progress I made, stopped caring about what I was going to do or eat, stopped caring about myself period. Not a very good way to be.

So I was off my JC in the worst way possible, I mean I was eating out almost everyday. Oddly I still kept thinking that tomorrow I would stop and eat what I was supposed to, the next day though I would give into a craving and continue to eat bad for the rest of the day. I been having good days and bad days, going up and down.

I not going to quit though. That I'm adamant about, I don't want to quit and start the climb back up to a place where I'm not me anymore, I'm someone else. So some positives, still went to JC on Monday (but had a 5lb gain >.< ), joined a gym yesterday, and have been eating my JC food again. Also I changed the JCC the I see, I never really connected with my old JCC, she was much older then I was. My new JCC is closer to my age and is very supportive. Hmmm I can't think of anything else I would like to say.

I'll update again soon, and this time have more good news to report~

Awesome Week and New Toy

So I had an awesome weigh-in on Monday, lost 5lbs. I haven't lost so much since my first week, but after I take into account what I gained when I was a little naughty...I still lost 2.4lbs! So I finally feel like I'm back on track. As an added bonus I broke outta the 210s, and I'm sitting at 209.4lbs right now.

Also on Monday my BodyMedia Fit arrived, got home, let it charge, and found out I'm having some tech problems...I seem to have an issue with getting it to work, been at it for two days and not getting anywhere. I've sent an email and got a not very helpful response. So I'm still trying to tinker with stuff and see if I can get it going. Going to try on my bros laptop and see if that works better.

Other wise not much going on, trying to set a new daily routine up to include more exercise. I seem to have lots of energy now so I'm trying to add new dvd's and I want to start going to a yoga class.

Hmm I`ll end it here. Ciao!

Getting Back on Track

So I need to explain the horrid time I've been having. Starting with work... My new shift at work is earlier then before but only by one hour. Let me tell you though that one hour is making a huge difference, I'm having a lot of trouble getting up sometimes. After I did my test for re certification I had to wait 3 weeks to find out if I passed or failed. I passed but it was a stress I didn't need that was always in the back of my mind. After Christmas (which went very well, everyone had a great time) I got the flu. This flu stayed with me for a good 2 weeks and I still don't feel 100%.

During this time I stopped eating my JC food and didn't go to my meetings. I know, I was bad. To get back on track I went today and happily only gained 1.8lbs. My JCC also did measurements and I'm down 2 inches. So I'm back on board, got my food and signed up for the new metabolic max program. I can't wait till I get it, my JCC said it's going to take 3 weeks for it to come in though *sigh*. Also I went on the website for the first time in ages and found out that Carrie Fisher(omg I'm a huge Star Wars fan) is the new celebrity spokesperson for JC, she's just starting and set a goal to lose 30lbs.

In other news I did a lot of reading while I was sick, the down side is I have books on every available surface in my room haha (I got a Chapters gift card for Xmas). I read all the books in the Sookie Stackhouse series by Charlaine Harris so far (there's another one coming out in May this year I think), and I was surprised by how much I loved them...Ever since Twilight I've been kinda put off vampire books. Another series I started on is called the Parasol Protectorate series by Gail Carriger (the books are titled Soulless, Changeless, Blameless) it's more in the steampunk sub genre but a very good read. Also started on The Ghost Hunter series by Victoria Lauri, I love stuff that has to do with ghost and paranormal stuff (I get scared easily but still love it). All these books however have helped me make up my mind about getting an e-reader. I don't have the space for more books and since I read so fast I'm always buying some. A friend from work was also kind enough to give me a cd with a few ebooks already loaded on it. I've decided which model and make e-reader I want (Sony Daily Edition) now to save up for it. 

Thanks all for letting me get this off my chest, ttyl!

Holiday Bustle

I normally love the holidays. I`m never the kinda person who gets flustered, or moody over all the stuff that happens around this time of year. This year though, I can`t seem to handle it. It feels like so much is going on in such a short time frame. Lots of changes at work(new shift and a re-certification I have to do) plus trying to get presents done(not even close there) and then the parties/get togethers. Add to it that this year I'm on JC and trying to lose weight....

So because of the new change of shift at work, I changed my appointments at JC from Wednesdays to Mondays. Yesterday after weigh-in I had lost 1.8lbs. I also hit 20lbs lost and my weight now 211.8lbs is 25% from my goal weight. I decided to get rewards for myself for every 25% I lose. Since I have a party to go to soon, and I need a nice top, I`m planing on spending a little extra then I normally do on clothes. I`ll also be very honest, recently I have lost my drive on the whole weight loss thing. Don`t get me wrong I`m NOT quitting, but the urges to be bad and just eat whatever are getting worse. So far I`m still doing ok, and I`m still determined not to give up. I can totally feel the changes in my body(I swear I felt my hip bone today haha) and see it in my clothes. I know I`m just losing that first high, and I need to introduce some new things to keep me motivated. Maybe I need to look into joining some kinda fitness class.

My book addiction has been helping me through the stress though haha. Just finished reading three books of the Black Dagger Brotherhood series by JR Ward. I`m so in love with the series, as soon as I can I`m getting the rest of the books. If your a paranormal romance fan these books are a must read. I`m going to end this here, my younger brother wants to go shopping now *sigh*.

Late Update

So sorry that this is late. I've been meaning to post my weigh-in results, but been getting sidetracked. So for my weigh-in on Wednesday the 24th, I lost 1.8 pounds and I'm now at 213.6!

In all honesty the numbers don't really make me feel that great. I keep wishing the number was smaller...I think I'm just wanting to get out of the 200s fast. I'm almost there but I sometimes have to remind myself to take it one week at a time. BUT there is something that makes me feel pretty happy daily. My clothes are all so loose! I've been wearing things that stopped fitting before and now fit perfect. I had to buy a new winter coat because mine looked like I was drowning in it. I love it, I would not have bought it before( it cinches at the waist, so would not have looked good)but now I feel like my body shape is starting to come out! I absolutely love my coat, it looks so cute paired with my mitts, scarf and tuque.

I've still been doing my 100 days lessons, but I'm only going to post things that really hit home. A lot of the lessons are stuff you've heard before. Most of the exercises are stuff you need to practice doing and not so much about writing. I also want to make a post about the three books I recently finished, and the new ones I really want to get. Look forward to it!

Quick Update for Weigh-in 9

Hey everyone, this is going to be quick. I did go for my weigh-in yesterday and lost 1.0lb. Been really busy with work and both my brothers birthdays are coming up in the next week. I've still been reading 100 Days, but not had a chance to post my thoughts on the last two chapters I did. Promise to do it tomorrow. Ciao!

Weigh-in 8 Plus Measurements

So just updating my results toady. Lost 1.8 lbs and lost 4 inches total! Final numbers after two months on JC are 16.1lbs lost, current weight at 216.4lbs, and 18.4 inches gone. I'm pretty happy with the results, I feel like I could have done better though. I might need to add to my exercise routine, I think I could have lost more inches. JC measures your bust, abdomen, waist, and hips. So total lost is everything that I lost in all areas.

It's getting colder and I need to get some warmer clothes to wear when I go for walks. Thing is I don't want to buy any clothes until I really have too... Maybe I'll borrow something from my brothers. Next post will be about day 7 from 100 Days.

Day 6 Protect Your Plan

I know from personal experience from my other diet attempts that what other people say sometimes has too big of an effect on if you stick with it or not. The first line in the chapter really struck me, it goes "No one will ever care as much about your diet plan as you." It's so true. So why do we let other outside people advise us on it?

In the past when I start a diet I always tell everyone around me. I lose about 10lbs and when people ask, I just go ahead and tell them everything. From what diet it is, to what I eat, to how much I exercise... I understand why I do this. If I knew someone who was trying to lose weight I would cheer for them and want to know so maybe I could also benefit from this diet. Not all people are like that though. Some people (mostly coworkers and friends) try telling you to save your money and then act like your new nutritionist or personal trainer. Most people who say this are people who've only ever needed to lose a small amount of weight, so it works for them. If they don't try to give you some advise then they try to encourage you to 'cheat' every now and again.

This chapter has some useful phrases to use if people are getting pushy. If you have someone who's trying to make you eat something, sidestep the situation with this phrase "Not just yet; I'm going to wait a little while." This way you don't offend anyone by outright refusing the food and that person should leave you alone for a while. If your asked again, use the same phrase or a variation like "Thanks, but I'll still wait a little bit." In a social setting it's hard to monitor someone the whole night, so they shouldn't be able to tell what you've been eating the entire time.

Another useful thing to know is what to tell people when they do ask about your weight loss. The book recommends avoiding the topic and not telling anyone your on a diet. It says to just say your following a healthy eating program. I personally have done this. The only people that know I'm on JC is my family. My coworkers have noticed my eating habits have changed. When asked I just say I'm trying to eat healthy and most people don't ask anything after that. As mentioned before, a friend from work did notice I have lost weight. She asked me "Have you lost weight?" I replied "Yeah I have." She said she noticed my face looking thinner, and I thanked her for noticing. Beyond that I didn't tell her anything else, and she didn't ask.

The exercise today is to write down at least three situations you might need to defend your plan and what you'll do. I've kinda already done this with the above paragraphs, so I'm going to skip writing more down.

I'm going for weigh in tomorrow and measurements. I'm mostly excited because I know I did really good this week.

Day 4 Boundaries Not Diets

A interesting visual exercise today. I've heard a lot of people avoid using the word 'diet' as most people link it to something bad. Diets mean you need to follow them exactly to a 'Tee' and if you don't then you might as well throw all caution into the wind and stop. Instead of thinking you have to follow a straight line from start to finish, think of a road. A road that has boundaries. These boundaries either narrow the road or widen it depending on what life throws your way. Even on a really bad day you should never go off the road completely. ( I really like this visual it helps me to deal with little bumps)

The exercise today is to make two columns, one called the narrow road and the other called the wider road. In each column write down eating and exercise plans.

Narrow Road- Follow the JC eating plan exactly. Do all my exercises. Read and do a daily exercise from 100 Days.

Wider Road- Use my limited free items if I still need more food for the day(or just a treat). Do at least one exercise. Read from 100 Days

Can't think of anything else right now. I did get a compliment from a friend of mine from work today. She happened to notice that I've lost some weight. Made my day!

A Little Bump

So I came back from my weigh-in today (#7) and had a little gain of 0.4lbs. Was a little disappointing but this is the first gain I've ever had, so I'm taking it in strides. I've had a hectic week, not enough sleep. I'm very particular about my sleep. I get super cranky if someone wakes me up rudely or if I'm startled awake. What ended up happening this week? I got a call Sunday night at 11pm by my little brothers friends, he had too much to drink and it ended up falling to big sister to get him. I still ended up going to work that day (which means getting up at 3am to get ready for work). Tuesday and Wednesday I ended up again having to drive little bro to work at 2am and 3am. So tired.....but he totally owes me now haha.

Not much going on besides the lack of sleep...Ohh wait, I did join a little challenge to lose 15lbs by New Years. Hopefully the goal will help with holiday temptations.

Weigh-in Today, Plus Finished my Books.

Just finished week #6 today on JC. I ended up losing 2.4lbs this week, which means I'm down to 217.8lbs. (Pause for a small celebration). So I'm officially out of the 220s, yeah! Weight loss wise this was a strange week. I didn't really have any challenges, ate on plan, didn't really get all the exercise I wanted to, but I felt really 'ho hum' about it all. I can feel the difference, it feels like the fat is coming off evenly all over the place, which is very exciting. But I'm just not as excited as I was the last few weeks. I think this might have to do with other things, I was really not motivated to go to work all week (still went). Also I feel the need to go out and spend a ridiculous amount of money on things I don't really need. Hopefully I feel better for next week.

Some other and equally exciting news, my book order arrived way sooner then I thought it would. I placed the order on Tuesday last week and received it on Friday. Um also I already finished my books(all three of them) yesterday lol. Just to recap the books were from the Nice Girls Don't series by Molly Harper. I gotta say I really enjoyed them. Ever since the whole Twilight series(I read them all and then deeply regretted it, I will say that I was impressed by the first book but the others that followed just ruined it for me) I get suspicious around vampire books. The books have a sassy-smart mouthed-former librarian-recently turned vampire for a main character, and some interesting support characters with their own special kind of quirks. There's a lot of sarcasm and dry wit used, which I loved. The only thing that bothered me was at times I felt some more descriptions could have been used to ease transitions to new places or subject conversations. All in all I loved them and loved the characters and really hope that there might be some more books coming for this series. Now I just need to find something else to read while I wait for all the other books on my wish list to come out....

Moments of Zen

I'm having a moment......Not a bad one, a moment of zen.

Being on a diet or thinking a lot about nutrition and just eating right is pretty overwhelming. You constantly think about portion sizes, what you can eat vs. what you shouldn't eat? Even exercising becomes a hassle, how much should I do, how long should I do it for????

Stop...breathe....

In the end I thought about it this way. If I maybe don't eat all the foods I'm supposed to( like miss a fruit serving), is it the end of the world? Nope. Will it really effect my over all efforts of losing weight and getting healthy? Nope. You can say the same about exercising. As long as your doing something it is beneficial to you. If you missed one day, it's ok. If you worked your butt off and then didn't lose a lot, it's ok.

I guess I'm just learning to let certain things go. This is not my first weight loss attempt. I've done at least two other programs(with little to no success) and gone it alone(with very little success). So whats different this time that makes me feel more optimistic? My mindset. I finally understand a lot of things about myself and how I see and deal with food. I have forgiven myself for past 'failures', so I'm not dwelling on them anymore. I also understand what I was doing that WAS my fault and caused a lot of my weight gain. Before I blamed a lot of my weight issues on genes, slow metabolism, and anything other then me. I can see now that I was eating all the wrong foods, in way too big portions, and getting no exercise. Then eating when I get stressed or bored or just because it was there. That math adds up to an unhealthy body and lifestyle. I'm here because of the choices I made.

One more thing I want to say. Sometimes I do wonder why any of this didn't click before, why I didn't try JC before, why I didn't do something sooner? Surprisingly I have an answer to all those questions. That's just the way it was. I'm doing something now, I understand now and that's all there is to it. See, pretty zen if you ask me.  :)

5th Weigh-In, and New Books for Me.

So first a update on my weigh-in today. I wasn't expecting much of a loss today, I wasn't good with doing my exercises and its my 'special time'. Happily I still lost 1.4lbs and had a good talk with my JCC( Jenny Craig Consultant). We talked mostly about this realization I had earlier today. Before coming into the center I went to deposit a check at my bank, there is also a Subway right next to it. After I was done at the bank and got back into my car I ended up face to face with the Subway right in front of me. Now pre-diet I would have popped right in and got a footlong without even thinking about it because it was there. Today however I thought to myself "I could go in and get a sub, but I'm not really hungry and I don't really need it." That might not sound like a big deal, but it is! She was very proud of me for realizing this and told me I was doing good if my mindset is already like this.

On to book news! I placed an order online at Chapters for the Nice Girls Don't series(there's three books in total) written by Molly Harper. I can't wait to start reading again. Also I ordered 100 Days of Weight Loss by Linda Spangle, according to everyone on the JC forums it's a very good read for helping aid weight loss. Should be receiving my books by the end of next week, hopefully.

One last bit of new's that makes me happy.

There's this.....book(sigh).

After reading the description I was hooked. I got all set to pre-order only to find out that it was no longer going to be published. I was upset, and can't imagine how the author felt. After some digging around though, I found a blog the author contributes on and kept checking back for any updates.

Well.... are you ready....

Turns out as of yesterday some good news popped up. An update from the author shows that not only did that book get picked up, but two others from the same series are going for the ride too! I'm super excited! Wait maybe I should tell you all the books name now. The book is called How to Lose a Demon in 10 Days by Saranna DeWylde.  Congrats Saranna on all your hard work! Can't wait for the books to come out and my bumper sticker lol.

Very First Blog Ever!

When I started JC I also started a journal. While writing my journal part of me wondered if maybe starting a blog would be better. I'm nervous of putting myself 'out there' but also would love feedback along the way. Part of me wants to share and part of me wants to hide. If I've learned anything this far though, it's that by sharing you also open yourself up to learn along the way. I've been participating in the JC forums and found out how much putting yourself 'out there' can help.

I started JC on September 15 2010, weighing 232.5 lbs(my all time high) and set a goal weight of 150 lbs(plus 10-20 lbs more once I get there). I've since been on this plan for almost 5 weeks, my 5th weigh-in is tomorrow, and have lost 10.9lbs and 14 inches total.

I also want to use this blog as a place to ramble about other things such as books and any other interests. Or I might just end up using this as a place to vent and share some laughs.
 
Well that's all for today, I will post my results from tomorrow's weigh-in next.